A close friend gave me an idea for a topic to blog about, but I have been staring at a computer screen for days not knowing which keys to press first. I knew writing about this would be cause for me to be slightly vulnerable and really put myself out there, but I have learned in order to truly be alive, we must dare greatly and not be afraid to be seen.
My friend asked me to talk about self confidence and my thoughts about how to build it up. The truth is I have never had much until this past year, and even now, it is still shaky. Then I thought that it might be even more powerful if I talked about that. I am not the person oozing with confidence telling all those who don't have it to just believe in themselves. I am one of you, too, but every day I am fighting to see what others claim to see in me.
That leads me to what I think is the first important step to take if you struggle with confidence: Find and surround yourself with people who see the real you and believe in all they see. For me, I was unable to just flip a switch and become self assured. However, I had people in my life who would tell me daily everything I needed to hear, and while I would often wave off their compliments and kind words, I eventually started to let some soak in. If you have multiple people telling you great things about yourself, it is not coincidence. Afford yourself the gift of truly listening and internalizing what they are saying to you. If you have the right people surrounding you, they wouldn't say anything to you that they don't mean. Fight the urge to push away compliments. There will come a time that you will look in the mirror and see what they see. The moments may be short lived, but it won't be long before those images stay longer and longer.
The last piece of advice that has helped me is to never say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to your best friend. What we tell ourselves is more powerful than anything anyone else could ever say to us. Make it a personal goal to be kind to yourself every day. Compliment yourself on your successes whether it be a good hair day, a step forward at work, or anything that you know others would see in a positive light, too. Wake up every morning and start your day with an "I am" statement. "I am ____________ ." What are you? What makes you so special in others' eyes? Don't be afraid to pat yourself on the back every once in a while. We must believe in ourselves because we deserve that.
You don't need to go around proclaiming you are the world's next great thing. No one likes that, but you have every right to believe in yourself and to see yourself the way others do. You are special. You are important. You are worthy, but most importantly, you are enough. This I promise you.
Go do great things,
EP